The Same All Over
by kbrand5333
Summary: Thor and Jane find themselves dropped in Camelot. One-shot, complete foolishness.


"So… you're going to fight me with… a hammer?" Arthur asks, raising his eyebrows at the large blonde man in strange leather armor who dropped from the sky minutes before.

The large blonde man smirks and begins spinning the aforementioned hammer. "I like your sword. It's cute," he says. "I had one very much like it when I was a boy." Then, he throws the hammer.

Arthur ducks, then charges Thor with his sword. The Norse god dodges. His arm is held aloft, fingers splayed. Arthur stares at it momentarily, then, on a hunch, dives away from the extended arm.

A moment later, Mjolnir flies back to its master, who smirks at Arthur yet again.

"Whoa," Arthur comments.

"Thor…" a dark-haired beauty sighs, exasperated, a short distance away.

"Not to worry, Jane Foster, I will—" Thor's words are cut off as he ducks beneath Arthur's flashing blade.

_I wasn__'__t _worried_, I was about to question the necessity of this duel._ Jane looks around, heart still pounding from the journey, surveying her surroundings. _This doesn__'__t look like 2014__…_ She sees a petite, beautiful woman with light brown skin wearing an elegant gown hurrying towards them on the arm of a tall, thin, pale young man in dark blue robes. The woman is undeniably regal. She is also frowning at the man with the sword in the same way that Jane is frowning at Thor.

_Men._

"Hello," Guinevere greets Jane, friendly, but a trifle wary.

"Hi. Sorry about all this…" Jane says.

Gwen looks at Jane. _She__'__s quite lovely, but what is she wearing?_ She puzzles over Jane's unusual footwear, rough blue trousers, and strange sort of tartan shirt. "I am Queen Guinevere of Camelot. May I ask what has transpired here?"

_Queen Guinevere? I thought Guinevere was a redhead__…_ "Um, Doctor Jane Foster," Jane says, extending her hand, which Gwen shakes. "We sort of… surprised that knight, I think."

"It appears to be so. He doesn't really react positively to surprises," Gwen answers.

"Forgive me… my lady… I'm just as confused as you are," Jane stammers, smiling nervously, glancing anxiously at the man standing slightly behind Gwen. He's studying her closely, and it's a little disconcerting. "Normally, when we travel to Thor's world — that's Thor —" she waves her hand to her companion, currently swinging his hammer at Arthur's head, "we return to my world, during, well, _my_ time. I think something happened, maybe some sort of temporal shift…" she trails off, looking up at the sky.

"Do you have magic, Doctor Jane?" the young man asks.

"Magic?" Jane asks, confused.

"Doctor Jane Foster, may I present Merlin, Court Sorcerer and Chief Advisor to King Arthur of Camelot. The man your Thor is currently trying to kill. My husband."

"Oh! I'm sorry, I tried… but… _you know_…"

"I do," Gwen sighs.

"Um, no, I don't have magic," Jane answers. "I have science."

"Magic and science are but two sides of the same coin in this land, Doctor Jane," Merlin says. "Both coexist peacefully."

"It would be nice if we could say the same about those two," Jane says, cringing as Arthur manages to land a blow on Thor's arm, leaving a long scratch.

Thor laughs heartily. Jane sighs again. Heartily. "He's really a good man," she starts to explain to Guinevere.

"As is my Arthur," Gwen says, tapping her chin thoughtfully as Arthur ducks beneath Thor's powerful arm as it swings towards him.

They watch the two men fight (a small, curious crowd has gathered around them as well), uncertain how to intervene without one or both of them getting killed or maimed.

"Um, Gwen? Thor is a god," Merlin mutters to Gwen.

"Excellent," Gwen groans.

"Doctor Jane? That sword of Arthur's is unbeatable."

"Oh, boy…" Jane moans. "Wait, is that Excalibur?"

"Is what Excalibur?" Merlin asks, looking down at Jane.

"King Arthur's sword. Is it called 'Excalibur'?"

"Um, no… we call it 'The King's Sword.' Sometimes 'Arthur's Sword.' Hmm. Excalibur. Has a certain ring…"

Arthur trips Thor and the crowd cheers. From his place on the ground, Thor tackles Arthur, sending the newly-christened Excalibur flying from his grasp. Thor raises Mjolnir.

"Merlin," Gwen says, her voice level but stern.

Thor brings his hammer down, aiming for the king's head, but finds his arm stopped midway.

"Enough!" Guinevere yells. All eyes are on her as she lightly tugs Jane's elbow and they stride into the makeshift arena. "He is your beloved?" she asks Jane quietly.

"Yeah."

"Good."

"What sorcery is this?" Thor roars, his arm still frozen as Gwen helps Arthur remove himself from beneath the thunder god.

"Thor, they're friendly," Jane's gentle voice and even gentler hand on his other arm calms him somewhat.

Merlin steps forward, his hand outstretched, keeping Thor's arm in place. "Greetings, Thor Odinson," Merlin says. "Welcome to Camelot. My name is Merlin, and I will release your arm if I have your word that you will not harm my king."

"You know my name?" Thor asks.

"You know his name?" Arthur repeats, sheathing his retrieved sword.

Thor stares at Merlin, perplexed that this pale, thin young man could wield such power. _Resembles Loki somewhat._

"Thor, you didn't need to start a fight," Jane says.

"_I_ did not start the fight." He looks down at her. "I am trusting you, Jane Foster," he says, touching her cheek softly with his free hand, then turns toward Merlin. "You have my word, Sorcerer Merlin. Release my arm."

Merlin lowers his hand. Thor's arm drops to his side, Mjolnir still clutched in his hand. "That was a most unpleasant sensation," he mutters.

"Now," Guinevere says, stepping between Arthur and Thor, who are still regarding one another suspiciously, "will _someone_ tell me what happened?"

"He dropped out of the sky!" Arthur exclaims. "Nearly landed on me!"

"And _you_ immediately drew your sword, Midgardian," Thor shoots back.

"Well, how would _you_ have reacted, Hammer-man?" Arthur answers, thinking "Midgardian" must be some sort of insult.

"I am Thor Odinson, god of thunder!" Thor roars.

"Yes, and I am King Arthur of Camelot!" Arthur shouts.

"Okay, so neither of you cares who the other one is! Fine! What we _should_ be doing is figuring out how Thor and I got here and how we can get home, not standing here watching the two of you have a… pissing contest!" Jane interjects, also yelling, moving to stand beside Gwen.

"Pissing contest?" Arthur asks quietly, looking across at Thor.

"I am as lost as you, King."

Jane and Gwen stand between the two, each staring up at her man with her hands on her hips, waiting.

Arthur clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck with his hand. "You must be hungry. May I offer you something to eat or drink?" Arthur says at length. "We have the finest mead in the Five Kingdoms."

"Mead, you say?" Thor cocks an eyebrow.

"And fresh venison, caught this morning."

Gwen steps over to Arthur and kisses him softly. "Thank you, Arthur."

"You're welcome," he answers, fondly looking down at his wife. "Apologies, Thor. Come, we'll eat, and then perhaps I'll introduce you to some of my knights."

Thor looks down at Jane, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear as she nods encouragingly at him. "You have my apologies as well, King, for any insult I have caused. I understand your reaction, as mine would have been much the same."

Arthur reaches his hand forward. Thor extends his arm as well, and Arthur clasps his forearm in the standard knights' gesture of companionship and agreement. Thor quickly understands the gesture, nodding and smiling with a small grunt of approval.

"I'd love to see him matched against Percival in battle," Arthur mutters to Gwen as he returns to her side.

"That would be a sight to see, but I think we need to figure out how to return them to their home," she answers.

"King," Thor calls. "Have you wild game as well?"

"Have we wild game?" Arthur repeats incredulously, turning to look back at his guest. "Sir Leon brought in six pheasants this morning." He steps away from Gwen and over to Thor, clapping him on the shoulder.

Gwen turns to Jane. "Come, you are no doubt weary," she invites her new friend, starting back for the castle. "Arthur is actually very kind. His people love him," she explains.

"As long as they don't surprise him," Jane says, smiling.

"Somehow, I think your Thor is cut from the same cloth," Gwen answers, and both women chuckle.

"Oh, my God, there was this one time…" Jane starts, leaning in closer, finding she truly likes this down-to-earth and approachable queen.

Jane and Gwen walk ahead, Thor and Arthur following, with Merlin trailing behind. Keeping an eye on things.

"They are beautiful and small, but not to be trifled with," Thor says, indicating the two ladies in front of them, both about the same height, now chatting and laughing companionably.

"Indeed," Arthur agrees. "And I would not have my Guinevere any other way."

"Jane Foster is my heart, and I cannot fathom life without her."

Arthur nods his complete agreement.

"You two are a couple of soft-hearted girls," Merlin mutters behind them.

"Shut it, Merlin," Arthur says over his shoulder. "You're no better. You know you would do anything for Guinevere."

"True," Merlin says, completely nonplussed. "But, I'm not all mushy about it."

Arthur snorts and reaches back, shoving Merlin lightly on the shoulder. Thor watches with interest, as he's not accustomed to seeing such a relationship between a king and a subordinate.

"Cabbage Head," Merlin says, attempting and failing to shove Arthur in return.

"King," Thor says softly, "can the sorcerer be trusted?"

"The sorcerer can _hear _you," Merlin says. "You whisper like a deaf old man."

"Surprisingly, he is my most trusted advisor after the queen," Arthur says. "He was only protecting me from you and that _mallet_ of yours."

"Hammer. Mjolnir is a hammer."

"Your hammer has a _name_?"

"Does not your sword?"

"It does now," Merlin interjects. "Excalibur. Its name is Excalibur. Doctor Jane named it," he motions ahead to the women, now climbing the stairs into the castle.

"Hmm," Arthur draws his sword. "I quite like it."

"It is a fine sword," Thor nods. "And I _did_ have one very much like it. When I was a boy." He grins at Arthur.

"Yes, well, when I was a boy, I learned how to fight using _proper_ weapons, not tools for blacksmiths and carpenters," Arthur shoots back, smirking.

"I believe I do not need to defend my choice of weapon, King," Thor answers smugly.

They climb the stairs and head inside.

"How do you make it return to you in such a manner?" Arthur asks after a thoughtful moment.

"It does so, for it is mine. It is meant for my use and mine alone," Thor says, lifting Mjolnir and spinning it briefly, almost absentmindedly.

"Well, _that_ I can understand. It is the same with this sword. No one else may wield it but me," Arthur says.

"He's really sweet, honest. Just gets a little… exuberant sometimes. Goes a little overboard when he thinks he's threatened. Or if he thinks _I__'__m_ threatened, for that matter," Jane says quietly as Gwen leads them to the dining hall.

"They are indeed very much alike," Guinevere answers, chuckling. "Is he really a god, like Merlin said?"

"Yes. It's… complicated, though. I'd like to be able to explain it to you, but I don't know if we'll be here long enough," she laughs. "Though, it helps that you guys get magic. I mean, you understand it. Not afraid of it."

"Not anymore," Guinevere says. "I thought you said you do not have magic?"

"_I_ don't. Thor has some. He can do things with the weather, obviously. God of thunder, you know. And the hammer is magic," she says, nodding over to the two men, where Arthur is trying in vain to lift Mjolnir. "No one can lift it but Thor. And his father."

"Arthur, you're going to injure yourself," Gwen calls, chiding lightly. "Come and sit," she bids them. She gives Jane a sympathetic look.

"Pretty much the same all over, aren't they?" Jane replies, smiling.


End file.
